Showing posts with label Sarah Napthali. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sarah Napthali. Show all posts

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Hand Wash Cold by Karen Maezen Miller

ddhism

Every now and then a book will find its way into your hands that feels like an intimate conversation with  an old friend.  For me, Hand Wash Cold: Care Instructions for an Ordinary Life is one of those books.

Not really all that instructional per se, this book is unassuming and comforting and lets you know you are not alone in your endeavors with spirituality, relationships, motherhood, and mundane tasks like laundry which Miller uses both literally (we need to get our hands dirty) and metaphorically.   Real, meaningful life is deeply embedded in the mundane tasks and Miller is validating and celebrating those moments which go unnoticed, begrudged,  and/or delegated to others because we think we have more important work to do.

As  a child I was painfully aware of the passage of time and since becoming a mother I ache with this awareness.  Still it's quite an effort to stay in the moment and really experience the present (cliche as it is).  Precious moments with the most important person in my life, my son, pass by at light speed.  Miller totally gets it, has struggled with it herself and offers compassion and insight.  Embrace your life as it is, right now, she encourages.  Be present in your own life.

She shares her own flaws and vulnerabilities and made me cry, more than once.  She is a Zen Buddhist priest but that doesn't come through so much in this book, and I think that's the point.  She is not cold and detached, but warm and accessible.  Never did I feel in reading this that someone more enlightened than me was telling me how it is, there's nothing lofty, just something Raw and Real.   I can't wait to read Miller's former book, Momma Zen: Walking the Crooked Path of Motherhood.

Saturday, May 10, 2008

Buddha Mama


I've just discovered Sarah Napthali has a new book out and I can't wait to read it. Buddhism for Mothers of Young Children: How to Be a Mindful Parent, follows Buddhism for Mothers, a Calm Approach to Caring for Yourself and Your Children which I have worn literally to tatters. I've only just ordered Napthali's newer book from Amazon, but I want to share with you the first book. This is the single most helpful parenting book I've read to date (and I've read a ton). You do not have to be a Buddhist to benefit from this book, in fact, those who will benefit the most are probably the non-Buddhists.

Buddhism for me is a philosophy, a pragmatic way of approaching life and NOT a religion. I am totally seduced by the art and imagery of Buddhism, but I do not subscribe to any religion and find them all for the most part a divisive and destructive force in the world. However, Buddhism is different. Buddha himself said, here are some tips, but you have to find nirvana for yourself, you don't get it through worship. When viewed as a blueprint for life, Buddhist principles are very handy and practical, particularly in the parenting department.

Buddhism teaches you to stay in the moment and gives you a clear cut path to do that. A beautiful and useful (and doable) code of ethics help you stay mindful during all the mindless chores of motherhood and back you up in those moments where things can go awry. Right Speech, for instance, reminds you to watch more closely what comes out of your mouth when speaking to your children. Swearing, for me, is a hard one.

I go back to this book over and over--it's out on loan to one of my friends or I'd go back to it right now to give you specifics. If you need comfort or some helpful non-obvious tips, this is a great book. There's nothing flowery or cutesy, it's just real stuff for real life.